Are you a Manarchist? Part One
(written by by HPWombat)
I. Do you ascribe to either:
A) Passive-Aggressive Patriarchy:”
(often come across a victim/helpless/in need/dependent and get women in your life to be your physical and emotional caretakers? to buy you things? to take care of your responsibilities? pick up your slack? use guilt or manipulation to get out of your responsibilities and equal share of the work? do you treat your female partner like a "mom" or your secretary?)
B) “Aggressive Patriarchy:”
(Do you often take charge? Assume that a woman can’t do something right so you do it for her? Believe that only you can take care of things? Think that you always have the right answer? Treat your female partner like she’s helpless, fragile, a baby or weak? Do you put down your partner or minimize her feelings? Do you belittle her opinions?)
2. How do you react when women in your life name something or someone as patriarchal or sexist? Do you think of her or call her a “PC Thug,” "Feminazj," "Thin-skinned," "Overly-Sensitive," a "COINTELPRO-esque" or “Un-fun?”
3. Do you see talking about patriarchy as non-heroic, a waste of time, trouble making, or divisive?
4. If a woman asks your opinion, do you assume she must not know anything about the subject?
5. Do you believe that women have “natural characteristics” which are Inherent in our sex such as “passive,” “sweet,” “caring,” “nurturing,” "considerate," "generous," "weak," or "emotional?"
6. Do you make fun of “typical” men or “frat boys” but not ever check yourself to see if you behave in the same ways?
7. Do you take on sexism and patriarchy as a personal struggle working to fight against it in yourself, in your relationships, in society, work, culture, subcultures, and institutions?
8. Do you say anything when other men make sexist or patriarchal comments? Do you help your patriarchal and sexist friends to make change and help educate them? Or do you continue friendships with patriarchal and sexist men and act like there is no problem.
9. As a. man, is being a. feminist a priority to you? Do you see being a feminist as revolutionary or radical?
10. Do you think that you define what is radical? Do you suffer from or contribute to macho bravado” or ‘subpoena envy? (I.e. defining a true or “cool” and respectable activist as someone who has: been arrested, done lockdowns, scaled walls, hung banners, done time for their actions argued or fought with police, done property alterations, beat up nazi boneheads, etc.)?
11. Do you take something a woman said, reword it and claim it as your own idea/opinion?
12. Are you taking on the “shit” or “grunt” work in your organizing? (I.e.: Cooking. cleaning. set up, clean up phone calls, email lists, taking notes, doing support work, sending mailings, providing childcare?) Are you aware of the fact. that women often are taking on this work
with no regard or for their efforts?
13. Do you take active step to make your activist groups safe and comfortable places for women?
14. If you are trying to get more women involved in your activist projects,
do you try to engage them by telling them what’ to do or why they should join your group?
15. Do you ever find yourself monitoring and limiting your behavior and speech in meetings and activist settings because you don’t want’ to take up too much space or dominate the group? Are you aware of the fact that women do this all the time?
16. Do you pay attention to group process and consensus building in groups
or do you tend to dominate and take charge (maybe without even realizing it)?
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